Many people do not understand the dynamics of the peace process. It is frustratingly slow and the war posturing on either side seems endless. Ordinary ‘mortals’ and bystanders to any peace process would be either bored to death or run amok in desperation.

Yet, there is an immense reservoir of patience and goodwill in our people notwithstanding the seeming despair or boredom vis-a-vis a long-drawn peace process both between the GRP and the MILF and between the GRP and the NDF.

In the GRP-MILF front, the continuing complication around the person who acts as a facilitator on behalf of the Malaysian government is, truly, mind-boggling. In ordinary and normal times, this would never have posed any problem since the facilitating government would immediately act when the question of trust is invoked.

Trust is never justified by a force of arguments or by reason. It is akin to faith - simply accepting and believing that the person in front of you is trustworthy! When trust is LOST, no amount of reasoning or argumentation would bring it back.

The Philippine government does NOT trust Mr. Othman bin Razak. The GRP need NOT explain the lack of trust and confidence in the person of the concerned-facilitator. Mr. Othman is NO sacred cow... HE HAS TO GO!

Suffice to say that the role and the person of the facilitator is essentially a question of trust. When trust is lost or questioned, he or she goes without any debate or question. This is true in peace negotiation or even in simple family arbitration.

What is observed to be interesting is the fact that Malaysia is retained as the facilitator of the peace talks between the GRP and the MILF. This observation is based from talk coming from other sectors in the Republic of the Philippines, specifically from some senators and important local government officials whose stature and hold on their constituency are rather strong.

The continuing debates on the person of Mr. Othman, which in ordinary times would be incomprehensible and unnecessary, have divided not only the GRP and the MILF but also the people. Rightly or wrongly, it is perceived that the pro-Othman is also interpreted as pro-MILF and the anti-Othman is understood as pro-GRP.

In my earlier blog, I called for Mr. Othman to resign and allow the Malaysian government to appoint a new man/woman to be the facilitator. It is rather sad that the debates about Mr. Othman are holding the progress of the peace talks.

And when the peace negotiation process takes a back stage, posturing for new arm engagement is becoming the talk of town. On the one hand, the MILF supporters are loud and clear in their manifestos to go back to the war of secession. On the other hand, some leaders in the military and some prominent LGU and national leaders are just as rearing for an opportunity to DO yet another Estrada War in Mindanao. The war posturing goes under new labels. It is no longer an all-out-war campaign but a “Sri Lankan Syndrome” that is very attractive to the hawks that means ‘finish the insurgents once and for all’.

The war posturing on either side serves no purpose at all! In fact, there is nothing to prove anymore when it comes to combat and war. The lessons of the 2000 all-out-war tell us of how devastating that war is, particularly on the non-combatants.

I believe that the lives and the livelihood of people must never again be put in the equation of war. The war mongers do not have their feet on the ground. The so-called leaders of their people speak of war and secession while they live in the comfort of their homes. These people live in the cities and their lives are far from any harm’s way.

The people, who push for war policy, PUSH their own poor people to the brink of despair. They live in some fantasy and continue to play the war game that they used to enjoy in their youthful days. They play with people’s lives and mouthing a battle cry or slogan that they themselves do not even understand or have already abandoned.

Anyone who has seen the horror of war cannot be an advocate of war. War destroys and kills.

We advocate for the return to the negotiating table. If the facilitator is the obstacle, then find someone who is acceptable to both protagonists. People say that there more than 40 millions Malaysians who can take the place of Mr. Othman. By the way, the art of facilitation includes the wisdom of knowing when one is still needed or not.

Definitely, it will be wrong and morally culpable of Mr. Othman to insist on his presence at the table where he is neither welcome nor needed. In fact, he is now seen as an OBSTACLE to the resumption of the peace negotiations between the GRP and the MILF.

Malaysia remains the facilitator-country and this guarantees continuity. Howover, the real institutional memory of the peace talk is incumbent upon the two principals – the GRP and the MILF Peace Panels. Their respective and joint secretariats keep the records and the dynamics of the peace negotiations. After all, when all things are said and done, the real protagonists in the peace negotiation are the two principals and NOT Mr. Othman. In the two peace panels is lodged the required memory and sustainability of the peace talks and any subsequent agreements.

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While writing this blog article, a very dear friend, Mayor Alexander Tomawis was shot dead in Davao City right in his apartment by professional killers. Mayor Alex was the chair and the spirit of the Iranon Development Council (IDC) composed of the municipalities of Barira, Buldon, Matanog, Parang and Datu Blah Sinsuat – all in the 2nd District of Maguindanao Province.

The IDC is the lead agency in developing a development and peace paradigm post conflict in Southern Philippines. It is still in its early stage, but with Alex - a dreamer, a visionary and a man of action, the IDC municipalities are moving forward to realize the dream for the Iranon people.

With Alex’s death, the five municipalities face the real challenge to move on and make that dream for the Iranon towns the legacy of the man whose heart and vision belonged to his people. Let not the pain and the grief caused by his death destroy the dream. Rather, let his dream and vision continue to inspire his people and friends to forge ahead.

There is much talk these days about the resumption of peace talks between the government (GRP) and the Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF).

In earlier statements of President Aquino, the articulated target for the resumption of the peace talks would have been ‘after the fasting month of Ramadhan.’ It is now almost two months after the fasting month and the resumption of formal talks is nowhere in sight.

It may look strange to ordinary citizens that the GRP and the MILF cannot immediately begin talks when their peace panels have already been re-constituted and they are both ready and raring to begin talks.

The main obstacle to the resumption of peace talks is, actually, the issue of person of ‘facilitator’. This is very queer, indeed!

In normal times, the facilitator enhances the flow of the talks. The facilitator uses his/her moral sway to move the talks forward. He or she becomes the ‘bridge’ to allow the two protagonists to speak and work together for the peaceful negotiated settlement that is fair to all.

It seems this is NOT the case with the person of Mr. Othman bin abd Razak, a Special Adviser to the Malaysian Prime Minister’s Office. The facilitator Othman actually delays the resumption of the peace talks, because of his perceived partisanship.

The role of facilitator in any talks is crucial in any peace talks. This is why the facilitator must NOT ONLY be actually independent and non-partisan, but also PERCEIVED as independent and non-partisan.

Sad to say, Mr. Othman’s role in the peace talks has always been a contested issue, to say the least, for the Republic of the Philippines. The GRP has always objected to Mr. Othman’s partisanship in the facilitation of peace talks.

The previous GRP Peace Panel headed by Amb. Rafael Seguis had categorically filed an objection on the facilitation of Mr. Othman. However, the Malaysian Government has turned deaf ears to the GRP pleading.

Under the new PNoy government, I thought that an acceptable formula for facilitation has been achieved. The formula is not only good but also avoids the pitfall of ‘losing face’ in a typical ASEAN way.

The GRP has consented to the continuation of Malaysia’s facilitation of the peace talks instead of outright rejection (which was my initial fear). But in an ASEAN sort of way, the person of the facilitator would shift from the ‘intelligence section’ of the Prime Minister’s Office to the Malaysian Foreign Ministry where it should have been lodged in the first place. This arrangement would have avoided the issue of losing face which is important in the ASEAN Club.

For any peace process to move forward, there are three important ingredients. The first is the social capital of the protagonists, that is, the GRP and the MILF. The social capital includes, among others, the actual trust rating of the leadership of the two sides. If there is a deficit of social capital, no sustainable agreement is ever possible. The second is the willingness of the two sides to compromise in order to come to a settlement that is fair and just to all stakeholders. Any agreement that is even perceived to be unfair and unjust is bound to fail. The third is the moral sway and the bridging leadership of the facilitator.

The honourable way is for Mr. Othman, in the name of peace, to resign as the facilitator and pave the way for Malaysia’s Foreign Ministry to act as facilitator in the GRP and the MILF Peace Talks.

As it stands, Mr. Othman is actually delaying the resumption of the peace talks between the GRP and the MILF. I personally believe that NO ONE is indispensable to the peace talks between the GRP and the MILF. There is NO SACRED COW in the talks. And it leaves a bad taste in the mouth when the sacred cow is the person of the facilitator.

Until the sacred cow continues to insist that he facilitate the talks, the prospect of any resumption looks bleak. It is really tragic when the facilitator becomes the OBSTACLE to the peace talks. The Spanish word is CUIDATE!

The ‘non-opening’ of the formal peace talks, hopefully, is but a momentary dislocation in the transition. Yet, in the long haul, I believe that the GRP and the MILF need to face the issue of the ‘independence and non-partisanship’ of the facilitator. Any taint of partisanship will only backfire at a later stage. Better for the two panels to confront this issue now ‘by the horn’ and settle it before any resumption takes place.

November is a special month for Filipinos. It is a month devoted to the remembrance of the beloved ones who have gone beyond this world. They are no longer seen and touched, yet every time we remember them, they become alive again. It is a different kind of presence, yet real and closer to the heart.

Death has always been a mystery. Religions have, in various ways, tried to unravel its mystery in order to ease the pain of death. Yet, the experience of death in the family is always accompanied by grief and loss. We continue to grapple with mystery of death, notwithstanding our faith in the resurrection of the dead.

In faith, we have accepted that death is not the ‘end of the line’. We believe that life endures beyond death. The good deeds, authentic relationships, and a life lived for others do not end in death.

Here lies the power of ‘remembrance’. By remembering our beloved dead and what they stood for during their life time, they become present with us again. Their good deeds live on and the bonds that unite us are not severed by death.

In the month of November, the first thing I need to do is to visit the graves of my mom and dad. I will light candles in their graves and stand in silent prayer as I express my eternal gratitude for their love and care throughout my life. There is, at times, a feeling that I should do this more often, but I am confident that my parents understand as they did during their earthly life.

Next is to visit the graves of my friends and co-workers who have gone ahead. Visiting their graves is a simple gesture to express my appreciation for their friendship and for the values and struggles we had shared together through the years.

As a practice, I also light candles to remember those whose graves are never found. Special in this group are the so called ‘desaparecidos’. A special remembrance is reserved for Fr. Rudy Romano, CSSR, a friend and a companion in the struggle during the Martial Law days. He was taken by agents of the state in broad daylight and in public view and he was never seen again.

I remember the many names who were martyred during those dark days of our history. It is a long list that includes famous and not so famous names or simple aliases. They were young and talented university students who were driven by Martial Law to the hills and there they continued the struggle for freedom.

I remember a young and very talented Edgar Jopson or Edjop. He was then moving around Mindanao as he looked for shelter and sanctuary in the struggle for freedom and democracy. I remember shedding tears when I heard the news that he was brutally shot in Davao while climbing a wall for his escape.

I remember Jonas Burgos, a recent ‘desaparecido’. I did not know him personally but I knew his father, Joe Burgos. I can feel the grieving of his mom as she continues to look for him and bewails the government's lack of political will to go after the perpetrators, allegedly agents of the state who took him in public view using an AFP vehicle.

Yes, the whole month of November is dedicated for this kind of remembrance. And as we grow in years, the only difference is that the list becomes longer.

A friend keeps list of his loved ones who have passed away. Now in his senior years, he recites these names in his daily prayers as he reminisces the good as well as the bad times spent together. I ‘promise’, several times, of doing likewise. But work and more mundane matters get on the way, and it remains an unfulfilled promise.

This reminds me of a saying about the three things people say that are important in the journey through life.

The first is experienced when one is younger. The young direct their attention to, practically, all things. They have time and the energy to desire and want the whole world.

When one becomes older, the element of priority enters in the scene. They begin to realize that they cannot get the whole world so they direct their attention to things that matter. He/she begins to discern what is important and begins to remove many things in the list.

In senior years, a person begins to get a new perspective in life. Age and wisdom dictate that when one becomes older, he or she can now attend to only ONE thing and that is the heart of the matter.

I keep telling myself, that I have lived longer enough and thus should pay more attention to the heart of the matter. I believe that I should NO longer pay much attention to things that are passing or things that simply gratify temporary and passing fashion and taste.

November, in many ways, reminds me of this invitation. As I remember my beloved parents and friends I, once again, make the resolution to pay more attention to the heart of the matter. The things that endure... and this, above all, is the good relationship that truly matters.

So I will light candles and offer prayers this month of November for the people who had meant a lot to me. They had shaped me to what I am today. Salamat!