SO BARACK Obama has finally made it as the United States’ Democratic Party Presidential candidate, edging out Hillary Clinton.

It was a tight race indeed, and both had worked real hard and long in getting in the votes including generously exploiting this thing called the cult of celebrity. They had built their celebrity up so high that they’ve made themselves household names, not only to those who cared for them and their existence but also for those who couldn’t care less if they existed like, say, some chamber maid in a remote lodge in Sagarmatha that happened to have an illegal access to CNN.

But in my view, Hillary made a very big mistake in running against Obama to start with. I firmly believe that even before Obama and Hillary decided to even cast their lots in running for the Democratic nomination, Obama had already won. Why? The answer is simple: 24.

Yes, that hit TV show 24 – 24 hours per season with agent Jack Bauer played by Kiefer Sutherland. The show was truly engaging, exciting and memorable. And, guess what, among the most interesting and memorable characters in that show was Senator and later President David Palmer, played by Dennis Haysbert.

Palmer, the black President of the United States of America, who was so good, so decisive and so presidential that he lasted five seasons as the ideal leader of the free world. Of course, in 24’s timeline, that’s just 5 days. But his character was so powerful that the bad guys could not do anything but assassinate him to get their way.

At this point, let me quote Wikipedia’s entry on David Palmer to state my case:

Characteristics – He was married to Sherry Palmer whom he divorced after losing trust in her, even with a total of 29 years behind her (some remember that they even knew each other back in grade school, according to Sherry herself). However, he maintained contact with her, using her as an informal special assistant during both Season 2 and Season 3's terrorism crises. He was horrified when she was killed by a woman Sherry had implicated in the murder of Alan Milliken. He also has a daughter named Nicole (a rape survivor) and a son named Keith, who, during his campaign for the presidency, was accused of murdering Nicole's rapist.

Around the time he was running for re-election, he dated his personal physician, Dr. Anne Packard, a divorcee. On the day of the first debate with his opponent, that debate was complicated when his opponent brought up charges that Packard had conspired with her husband to 'cook the books' at a pharmaceutical company they were previously involved with. She was innocent and Palmer supported her. She sometimes came between Palmer and his chief of staff and brother, Wayne, who disliked her. On that same day (shortly after her ex-husband committed suicide right in front of her), Packard broke up with him because his life was too complicated for her to continue the relationship. In Season 6, Regina King plays the role of Palmer's sister Sandra.

Palmer has always shown himself to value principle above anything else, and has steadfastly refused to rush to judgment on anything. He was deeply disturbed by the cover-up of the events surrounding his son, Keith. He initially blamed Jack Bauer for the attempts on his life, but apologized when he realized Jack was innocent of wrongdoing. He was also horrified by the actions of his wife, Sherry, regarding both events about her son, her attempt to lure him into an incriminating affair, and her willingness to sacrifice Kim Bauer. He left Day 1 with his ethics intact, though his marriage was over. And in Day 2 when talking about the nuclear bomb, he says that he is more worried about the bomb going off than his re-election, something his subordinates fail to realize.

In a special feature for season 2, Dennis Haysbert mentioned he based the character off a combination of Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, and Colin Powell calling them the three politicians he admired most.

Concept and creation – Dennis Haysbert was disappointed that his character was killed in the 5th Season, commenting that it continued an American legacy of killing its popular and charismatic leaders. He does continue to watch the show and be a fan.

Okay, so you can say: wait, wasn’t a strong woman President Mackenzie Allen also projected in Commander in Chief played by Geena Davis? Shouldn’t that have worked for Hillary as Palmer did for Obama?

Not quite, I say. Commander in Chief, the great show that it was, was canceled early. And nobody loves a loser, especially in show business.

However, in that show Vice President Allen rose to the top rank when the President was incapacitated. Hillary, now, is seriously considering the post of Obama’s running mate. Hmmmmmmm….. very interesting.

Gotcha

IN THE Los Angeles Times, Theodore Dalrymple writes: “The cult of celebrity is not new, but it is increasing in its scope and effect. At one time, people wanted to simply gawk at the famous, and possibly dress like them. Now, many take their moral and political opinions from them.”

Back home in the mess that’s Metro Manila, we ponder over our own celeb fascination. Gabby Concepcion, home with much fanfare lost no time in getting himself in every headline that he could, first toying with a Kapuso lawsuit after clinging on to rival Kapamilya network only to recant later. Then there’s the botched endorsement deal, leading him to be the top endorser of a food supplement whose own image battle is making the headline.

And now he’s in court, answering for a bigamy charge filed ages ago, forgotten all this time until now, that he’s conveniently back.

Of course, the bigamy charge drags other big headline hogging names like ex-wife Sharon Cuneta (now married to Senator Francis Pangilinan) and daughter KC, an extremely fast rising star. These guys are everywhere in the news – hard news, soft news, magazine covers, ad endorsements… in this blog…

Wait a minute, there’s something I don’t get in this whole bigamy thing. So the claim is Gabby was married before he was married (in super big celebrity fashion) to Sharon. But Sharon has had her marriage to him annulled, so she’s legitimately married to Senator Kiko.

From the way I understand it, annulled marriages totally cancel out the marriage – like it never existed or never happened. This is not like divorce where the marriage is severed, but the marriage did exist and still exists on record.

So if the Gabby-Sharon marriage was annulled, where’s the bigamy? It never happened, as logic dictates.

But that’s only me. And by some powerful and undeniable force, I am dragged into this cult of celebrity, feeding the growing need for attention and fame of one Gabby Concepcion.

For all we know, here’s a guy who needs to make a comeback in Philippine show business because his real estate business in the US is kaput with property values way below survival rates, hit by widespread financial instability and nose-diving economy.

And here I am, falling for this racket.

Ju-ju-ju-judy

BUT LIKE it or not, celebrities who have the popularity and perhaps even the credibility with a particular target audience can catapult your message to that audience.

Hoping to replicate the success in convincing the mass audience with a message they so despise, First Holdings – the Lopez-owned controlling interest in Meralco – came out with a “public service” message on “systems loss” delivered by the darling of the masses: Judy Ann Santos.

The message: systems losses in your electric bill are real, justified and legal.

They were hoping that Judy Ann can do for this unsavory message what she did for Senator Jamby Madrigal’s unsavory candidacy.

Well, Judy endorsing Ja-ja-ja-jamby on TV undid whatever distaste the masa had for Madrigal in her first run for a Senate seat. They quickly forgot her first campaign – a giant billboard on EDSA flashing a bejeweled socialite claiming she is there for the poor.

Judy endorses the “systems loss” advocacy with analogy of how some ice melts away on your trip from the store to your home. She adds that systems losses charged to consumers are never higher than what’s prescribed by law.

True enough – but it totally misses the point of what we all find distasteful about this issue. Sure, the kilometers of cables and wires that bridge the generation of power to the consumer at home may result in attrition of the electricity that runs through them. We can accept that, just as we can accept the ice melting on the way home analogy.

What gets our goat is the system loss due to Meralco’s inefficiency… no, ineptitude… no, incompetence… no, plain katamaran, the cost of which is charged to us, the consumers.

We pay for systems losses because they charge us for the power those bums in the squatter areas steal with their jumpers and direct wirings to the posts. They claim they have prosecuted some. Honestly, would you bother with policing and prosecuting when what’s stolen is getting paid for anyway? Why punish us who dutifully pay our bills? I say, charge us only for what we consume, these power distributors will move heaven and hell to secure their lines.

As to the natural attrition that occurs in the power lines, the internet will show you that the technology exists to minimize if not totally eradicate this.

You don’t understand what I’m talking about? Try this: when you buy ice, bring a styrofoam ice box or a Coleman. Or are you just too lazy?

But they had to use Judy Ann Santos, because her celebrity with her audience – the masses they want to reach – will sweeten the message with her endorsement.

It isn’t the same to come out with the same message in that usual “So the public will know” print ad, or even Meralco spokesman and father figure Elpi Cuna telling us of the melting ice on the way home.

No. It had to be Judy. Remember: “The medium is the message.”

In the interest of full disclosure: Raya is a sports events management organization of which I am Managing Director. It had successfully mounted the 2006 and 2007 World Pool Championships in the Philippines in partnership with Matchroom Sport of UK and ESPN-Star Sports. It had likewise mounted the country’s first ever National Pool Championship in 2006 and the National Pool Championship for both men and women pool players in 2007. Starting this year, Raya has secured for the Philippines its own World Pool franchise from the World Pool-Billiards Association (WPA): the World Ten Ball Championship. But that’s another story. I write on this topic not to promote Raya, but to illustrate how an insanely funny situation experienced first hand has the most serious repercussions in the country’s sports development.

TALK about the power of media. In one brief article, no more than 236 words, the Philippine Daily Inquirer had succeeded in projecting the Chairman of the Games and Amusements Board (GAB) as the biggest backside in the Philippines.

Kawawa naman.

Flashback: The Inquirer reported in its sports section Wednesday, 14 May, that GAB chair Eric Buhain was going to order Raya Sports to cease and desist should it continue what it’s doing without getting a license from his agency. This was in anticipation for the coming Puerto Princesa leg of the Philippine Pool Tour (PPT) organized by the Billiards and Snooker Congress of the Philippines (BSCP) and the respective local government unit (LGU), in this case the office of Mayor Edward Hagedorn.

Buhain was apparently smarting from the recently concluded opening leg of the PPT – The Mandaluyong Mayor’s Cup – which the BSCP organized with Mayor Ben-hur Abalos. The BSCP has consistently refused to get any GAB license for the simple reason that the BSCP and its events are not under GAB jurisdiction, being billiard sport’s National Sports Association (NSA). They have argued that if ever they are under any jurisdiction it would be under the Philippine Olympic Committee and under the supervision of the Philippine Sports Commission.

Should BSCP give in to GAB, then what of the NSAs of other sports like wushu, track and field, volleyball, lawn bowls and the like? These are just among the questions the BSCP has raised to the Senate. The legislature has resolved to investigate the matter and define GAB’s role or even relevance in the era of open sports.

So to avoid any snags to its project the Mandaluyong Mayor got the GAB permit, without prejudice, of course, to what will be settled with the legislature.

Buhain then appeared before the Philippine Sportswriters’ Association forum Tuesday and lashed back at BSCP. But in a surprising twist the Inquirer – and only the Inquirer – reported the next day that the GAB chair was training his guns at Raya Sports.

Balanced news…

THE Inquirer story said that “Raya Sports refused to get the necessary license” from Buhain’s agency and that it was “defying the law” by doing so.

In behalf of Raya I issued a letter to the Inquirer editor in chief when the report was published, basically saying: “With respect to the Mandaluyong Cup, the role of Raya Sports was mainly to provide support services in event management. This does not make us the promoter, otherwise, following your reporter’s logic, all the companies who supplied trussing, lighting fixtures, tarpaulin banners, TV production and even janitorial services in the recent Cup all would have had to secure GAB permits.”

This was quoted in the follow up story the next day, to which the Inquirer further sought Buhain’s reaction and reported that Buhain “maintained that running the technical aspect of a money event in sports doesn’t exempt a party from the jurisdiction of the government regulatory agency.”

The Inquirer report further quoted Buhain: “Look at the PBA (Philippine Basketball Association) Even the ball boys and masseurs get their licenses from GAB…It’s that simple.”

Oh dear. Mang Hermie! Paki baba muna yung brush na panlinis mo nung mesa. Pati yung Pledge at basahan. Baka damputin ka ng GAB, wala kang lisensya, boy!

Well, in all fairness, I could get the license for poor Mang Hermie so that he can continue working. That’s P800 good for one year, as the Inquirer reported Buhain said. All I have to do is divert our budget, from Hermie and his crew’s Tasty loaf bread and Chizwhiz merienda to their GAB licenses.

Prrrrt…. Lisensya!

LET’S say I didn’t renew my driver’s license, I can’t and shouldn’t take out the car for a drive, right? That would be breaking the law.

But if I merely possessed an expired driver’s license, did I break the law?

If I purposely and willfully let my driver’s license expire, did I break the law?

If I let it remain expired and just stayed home and didn’t drive, did I break the law?

If I let my driver do the driving and I went out for a ride, did I break the law for having an expired license?

If I came out to the garage and washed and waxed the car, popped the hood and checked the oil and water levels and even vacuumed the car’s carpet, all with my expired driver’s license, did I break the law?

If I got into the driver’s seat, started the car and let it idle in my garage while having an expired license, did I break the law?

It is in the light of these questions that I view the conclusion of the Inquirer’s latest sports story with skepticism. Quoting my statement that “Raya is a licensed promoter and has secured permits from GAB for its events,” the Inquirer balances its act by counter-quoting Buhain with “Not yet as of today… He was probably talking about last year. But that permit expired after Dec. 31, 2007. That’s why I’m asking them to get (a license.)”

Get a GAB license, we probably will, if and when we do decide to drive. In the meantime, the BSCP and the LGU are driving the Philippine Pool Tour. Raya’s just here to do the washing and waxing.

WE TAKE the internet for granted. It’s just another fixture of modern life. Surfing, emailing, Googling, blogging… activities that fill our everyday lives, as automatic as pressing the floor number button on an elevator. You don’t bother to know how it works. You just use it.

Think about it: the wonders of modern communications technology allows us to access information resources all over the world at a blink of an eye. We can do things faster, better and cheaper than ever before.

That is, while you’re connected.

A few weeks back the DSL line in our office just went dead. A call to the provider – one of many unsuccessful attempts – revealed that they were doing “systems upgrade” and would resume service shortly.

We felt somewhat relieved for the obvious implication of the word “upgrade” meant that it would only be better. But something felt wrong with the whole thing since they didn’t inform us before hand that they were cutting service to do that upgrade.

Hmmmmm…

Major withdrawal symptoms. Suddenly we felt so unproductive being cut off from the rest of the world. When it was obvious that our DSL service wasn’t going to be restored within the day, we connected laptops via dial up modems while the rest headed to the nearest internet café.

Then one day turned into two, then three, then four – with our insistence for satisfaction the provider finally sent over a technician. His first order of business: blame the customer. He kept insisting that there was something wrong with us and not them. After walking him through our own system and how we were set up, he finally discovered the problem. Our broadband router – which automatically connects to our internet provider – had a different login name.

Apparently, it was the old login name which was changed by the DSL provider days ago as part of the so-called systems upgrade.

“You mean they did not inform you of the new login name?” Mr. Technician asked.

That flash of lightning that rushed through my thoughts, of course, just remained in my thoughts. I simply refuse to argue with those who came before me in the evolutionary chart. Such a waste of saliva.

So our DSL service went back to normal. Upgrade? Well, now we can easily remember our login name because they changed it from a randomly generated set of numbers to the telephone number on which the DSL service passes through.

Wow!

Intelligent World

WITH the way our telecommunications service providers brand themselves you’d think that perception is reality.

But is it?

One telco, branding itself with global reach has failed me more than once in my foreign trips. First as a postpaid client, the system did not allow the use of the roaming service abroad despite assurances that it came with the service.

Later shifting to their prepaid service where the claim is to simply register with customer service prior to leaving for abroad to avail of roaming, it failed again despite instructions followed to the “T.” In a later trip we did the same thing but, as a precaution we registered a week prior then made a follow up call three days before. It was as if the request never existed. So we went through the process again, only to find out the day before the trip that the request had not been acted upon.

The lesson learned? Get to know at least a Vice President of the company just so you can name drop. Failing that, call the VP and tell him or her how lousy their service is.

Or go to the competition – the one that claims to be the intelligent choice in its branding. Not that their customer service is any better. In fact, here you really have to know a VP upwards to get some action.

But it’s hard to beat decent customer service out of a company that makes outrageous fortunes despite legions of complainers like us. Either we suffer through the service or risk being disconnected.

Consider this: would you spend so much time, effort and money when attending to customer gripes when, despite that, you get 21 months pay for the year? That’s right, 21 months is what their employees were paid for the year – while most of us who do pay for the service are lucky to get our mandated 13th month pay.

Customer service, therefore, may not be a smart move.

That’s life

STILL, you can’t help but wonder at the awesome power modern technology gives us. There is nothing in mankind’s history that has impacted lives so much than the power of today’s information and communications technology.

It has enriched out lives, boosted productivity enormously and has enhanced creativity like never before.

And on the other side of the spectrum, it will leave us in the deepest end of despair and frustration when it fails. It kills us whenever we get a busy signal or fail to connect.

Think about it – when will this wonderful technology be most needed and most appreciated?

In times of calamity, of course. We can coordinate emergency resources, call our loved ones to check if they are okay, act quickly to save lives.

And when will these things bog down for sure?

In times of calamity, of course. There will be no power, no way to charge mobile phones and radios, transmission towers and cell sites will collapse, fiber optic cables will snap.

Your top of the line, quad band, 3G connected, Bluetooth capable, wifi ready, energy efficient, high-resolution-camera-PDA-GPS-FM-radio-TV-cellular-telephone will be as useful as the rock you will need to defend yourself when the food riot starts.

WHAT is it that keeps you up at night? What is it that stresses you out so much you starve yourself or pig out, depending on your preferred coping mechanism?

I must admit, I have never had any problems relaxing. Once my back settles on something – a soft mattress, hardwood floor, the chair’s backrest while sitting down or sometimes even a concrete wall standing up – I’m off to dreamland… ZZZZZZZZ…

That’s why it sometimes confuses me why some people spend so much time worrying about one thing or another that it completely ruins their lives. Sometimes I find that some of my biggest concerns are resolved after a deep sleep. I wake up refreshed, ready to tackle the problem anew. In fact, I sometimes find the solution through my sleep. My former boss at work used to raise an eyebrow whenever I would say “I’ll sleep on it.” She thought I was just making an excuse to go out drinking and disco-ing while a potential crisis lay over the horizon. But she later learned to trust me on my slumber solution since it worked every time. I’d report for work bright and early the next day with a fix on the problem at hand.

Sometimes it worked against me, though. Boss could always tell if I had indeed played hooky and had a night of debauchery because I would be in early but still no solution – hehehe, inumaga na sa inuman, konting wisik pantanggal ng muta, diretso sa opisina. (For the Fil-Ams who don’t understand, ask your Lola!)

Don’t get me wrong. I do have worries. But I guess it’s just a matter of priorities. Many of the things we worry about are either too small that once a pretty girl passes by it’s just gone with the wind and we wonder what that worry was in the first place. Other worries are so large for us that we can’t do anything about them anyway and would just have to leave it to God to sort out.

Looming Crisis

RISING prices, especially of oil and food – specifically rice – are sure to keep any government on edge. These are politically charged issues that could lead to serious civil unrest. Just look at news reports on the rice situation – not only local but international. Here it’s in the level of people complaining in lines for the low cost (subsidized) NFA rice. Abroad, they’re starting to riot.

Bloomberg reports that nearly half the world population has rice as staple food. The Philippines is among the top rice importers as our demand apparently is greater than the local production. Our sources in the US, Vietnam and Thailand are cutting back on their exports to ensure their own supply. Should this happen, where will we the get our supply shortfall?

What can I possibly do to avert this crisis? Is this a worry to lose sleep over?

I speak only for myself: it’s not what I’m worried about. (Before anyone out there decides to debate me on agriculture policy and this government’s competence, lighten up. This is neither the time nor place. Take your concerns to the useless bums over at the political desk.)

I’m not worried about the looming civil unrest and social crisis fuel and food shortages may cause. That’s just too big for me – it will come when it decides to come and I won’t be able to do anything about it.

What I am worried about is what I’ll do to survive once it does come.

You see, I’ve lived the cushy life of a guy in communications – I write, organize events, produce and direct shows… my hands are soft from moisturizing lotions and my adventures are in a climate controlled mall. Sure I work hard for the money, but what good is all that when the financial system collapses due to civil unrest?

This has been a lingering worry… should I blame my parents for sending me to university rather than trade school? Should I have hit nails with a hammer instead of hitting the books?

When the world as I know it collapses, what use will all the decades of intellectual discourse be? I don’t have a trade, a professional commodity that will be of use to society when we have to survive or rebuild from the ruins.

I should have gone to med school… or even nursing school. Doctors and nurses have it great. They have the money opportunities at good times, and will have plum positions in a crisis society. Even when cash becomes scarce they’ll get paid in poultry and produce.

Me? I will be as useless as this blog when the day comes.

Slap, slap, slap…

BACK to the present time. It isn’t crisis time yet and things could go any which way so no need to indulge in the drama of worries that may or may not become reality.

That’s the trouble with Pinoys – most of the time we get caught up in the drama of it all. In fact, we want to get caught in the drama of it all. We want to live that telenovela we crave for daily where every little heartache is the crisis of our lives.

We imagine our eyes widening and jaws dropping, blurting out a Korean “Huh!?” or fair-skinned Mexicans exclaiming in Filipino, “O, hindeeee!” (dubbed kasi) whenever confronted with the crisis of the moment: son announces he is gay; hubby breaks leg in an accident; teenage daughter impregnated by her boyfriend, a neighbor or an alien…

Our lives are one big telenovela and it invades our social, economic and political lives. Corruption scandals are viewed on primetime television live and unabridged, followed step by step, witness by witness and debated endlessly in barbershops and at dinner tables.

We worry, we enjoy, we lose sleep, we eat more, we eat less… and we live for the drama, especially the cliffhanger ending where we don’t know where it is all going to take us. No more NFA rice? Food riots? Civil war? Abangan ang susunod na kabanata.

Basta bida si Marian Rivera.

MENTION “virus” and most think either: high fever, paracetamol and bed rest or software scan, dead data and reformat hard drive. We all know about it. And we’ve all been through the hassle.

But more essential to the word is not how we individually suffer from it but rather how it spreads. This is where the real danger lies.

The simplest way to describe a virus spreading is through the mathematical term “exponential.” Something like from one it spreads to two, then the two spreads it to two each so an additional four or a total of seven now have the bug. Then the four spread it to two each so that’s an additional eight, bringing the total to 15.

Of course, if you ride the MRT during rush hour one person sneezing in the cab can automatically infect about 50. And those 50 can spread to much more each when they get off the train and interact with all those in the station who then spread it around more when they hit the adjoining mall.

The efficiency by which the virus spreads is so impressive that marketing gurus, whose sole passion is finding ways to reach out and touch the largest possible number of consumers with the least effort, have adopted it in their latest round of theories: Viral Marketing.

Cybersexually Transmitted Disease

REMEMBER that movie "Boys in the Band?" A big part of that movie was devoted to the search for “Patient Zero” – the guy who started it all, that single entity that had the HIV/ AIDs and spread it around through his series of lovers who in turn spread it to their lovers etc. until it got into the commercial blood supply and got spread outside of sexual contact and so on and so forth.

Between diseases and computer viruses (some prefer “virii”), it may be easier to find the source of the latter. For one thing, creating and spreading a computer virus is a deliberate act. In the early days (specifically the mid 1980s) of commercially released personal computers, when motherboards had 32 kilobytes memory, one megabyte hard disks were rare commodities and MS-DOS ruled operating systems, one computer store in Pakistan created the Brain virus and purposely sold virus-laden pirated software to Americans because he said they didn’t deserve the low, third-world prices that his countrymen needed to have access to modern technology.

Brain creators Basit and Amjad, two brothers from Lahore claim the virus as an achievement that “had shown Americans to be the world's biggest copyright violators.”

Nowadays computer viruses are a way of life and, as the conspiracy theory goes, many believe that these are spread by the billion dollar Anti-Virus software industry to keep themselves relevant. Notice the almost daily updates? Are there really that many geeks around the world with nothing better to do with their hands? (My message to you – yes you, tapping away new code on the keyboard: stop that and put your mind and hands on other things. And if you’re right-handed and are getting tired of it, then use your left!)

The fact is, while you’re online and surfing, you’re never truly safe. Just like riding on the MRT going to the mall. What will you do, stay home?

Another conspiracy theory is that software companies themselves like Microsoft are spreading the viruses themselves via the pirated software market – aka tiangge – to force you to buy original. I know of one guy, wanting to save on buying original antivirus software, busted his whole system because the disc he bought at his Greenhills suki was itself infected. Ironic… but funny nonetheless.

Same with another St. Francis Mall sourced DVD install copy of a pirated Windows XP Service Pack 3 (is there such a thing?) bundled with so many extras from other software giants like Adobe etc. It has that usual “Crack” software that generates the needed serial number to enable the installation. But beware, that’s where the virus lives. And the moment you click on it, your system is zapped. You don’t know it at first, and you feel you got a real bargain for your P100 so you pass it on to your friends and relatives. Or you recommend the same store to them and they shell out their P100. But soon enough your computer system slows down radically and that quad core processor becomes as useless as its 133 great great grandfather.

And those you’ve touched? Well, welcome to the club. So too with those they’ve touched and so on and so forth.

The deadliest bug

SARS comes to mind, especially with all the “please pass” text messages of so-and-so hospital keeping secret the deaths of their patients and doctors who handled them. You’ll never know which the deadlier virus is: the sickness being reported or the text messages being passed around, eating up precious bandwidth.

Avian flu as the next pandemic… Hepatitis A, B, or C… Herpes… they’re everywhere.

But the deadliest virus of all: STUPIDITY.

This surely spreads fast, far and wide. There’s just so much going around. Where did it all start? Where is stupidity’s patient zero?

Take a day in your life and you’ll see it all around you, infecting all, spreading like wildfire. It’s in your telco provider, whose DSL service is suddenly inaccessible and their call center tells you everyday that you call that they’re “upgrading the system,” but you find out days later that the only upgrade they did was to change your username but forgot to tell you about it.

It’s in that security guard who just stands there and watches you park in front of the bank and, just as you get off your car to go in he tells you you’re not supposed to park there because it’s for the bank manager.

It’s in that waiter who thinks he’s so cool and professional by pretending to listen intently while you order without writing anything down – even making a show of reciting the litany of drinks and dishes you’ve asked him to bring you – only to get the orders wrong or forgotten altogether.

It’s in that motorcycle rider who overtakes at top speed from the right – your blind spot – and thinks that his China-made plastic toy helmet will prevent his skull getting crushed when it hits the pavement or that helmets apply only to the driver and not his wife and two kids riding with him.

It’s in that bus or jeepney driver who just has to overtake everybody else then suddenly stop in the middle of the street because he THINKS he sees somebody who wants to ride but is actually just standing by the curb minding his own business.

It’s in that taxi driver who thinks everybody owes him a living so he has the right to overcharge passengers and refuse to pay for other cars he damages when he drives around without sleep for 48 hours straight.

It’s in that transport’s operator who believes that the stupidity of his driver is just part of the business.

It’s in that law enforcer who thinks that the law does not apply to him and is allowed to go against traffic in a one way street, run red lights and demand whatever he wants for free, from pancit to prostitutes.

It’s in that voter who thinks selling his vote for P200 harms no one.

It’s in that politician who thinks he can get away with everything.

It’s in that taipan who thinks he can take it with him after he’s dead and buried.

And in the true virus sense, it spreads – more efficiently than the exchange of body fluids or airborne means. This is purely visual. Just see how others are doing it and it just sticks into our minds. Next thing you know, whole generations are carrying on the stupidity of their forefathers.

This will definitely take more than just paracetamol and bed rest.

I've lost weight – and a lot of people have told me so. But this never really hit me like it did the other Saturday when I attended my nephew’s wedding in Tagaytay. It was a chance to wear my favorite gray suit custom made by one of the country’s best tailors. I wore it last to some function early last year, had it dry cleaned and haven’t had the chance to wear it again until this last weekend. I noticed the pants were loose – expected since all my pants have become loose and crumple up at the waist when I pull my belt to the last hole. But the clincher was the jacket – as I pulled it on during the walk from the car to the chapel’s door I suddenly felt I was in a tent.

It was just then that it really dawned upon me… what have I done? More specifically, what have I done right?

I’ve got through a lot of weight loss programs in the past – Slim Fast, weight training, High Protein, No Carb, South Beach… I’d lose weight slowly and gain it all back fast. I had given up… it always entailed some deprivation or suffering that I felt it just wasn’t worth the aggravation.

But this time around, it seems as fun as anything. It all started with my wife and sisters having to go through some lifestyle change to fight the big C. Breast cancer, after all, is the leading female problem (I’m just second, they assure).

So it meant a change of lifestyle, basically eating healthy and living clean. So, I figured, it doesn’t make good financial sense to have two grocery lists in one household. So whatever they’re having, I’ll have too.

Eat all you can

Yes, you gotta believe it. It’s eat all you can in our house. Of course, it’s eat all you can in vegetables, fruits and fish. That’s it. And before you protest, let me say that there are countless ways to make the meals interesting and great tasting that you won’t crave for anything else. I don’t know about you but salmon belly and bangus belly everyday is something I can live with.

So basically it’s no meat, no seafood, no dairy products like milk, cheese and ice cream, nothing canned and processed.

Coupled with this is preparation: nothing fried and if you grill it has to be wrapped in banana leaves. Nothing open over flame or charcoal. Oil must never be cooked – even the healthy olive oil. Just add later as flavoring and texture.

Egg whites and bottled sardines are OK.

Nothing white – because white means processed with chemicals – like white rice, white flour and white bread, white sugar (brown sugar is also processed, but avoid sugar altogether). Have brown rice, wheat or multigrain bread and use muscovado, honey or even that new coconut sugar as sweetener.

No junk food. Have raw nuts instead like almonds, walnuts etc. Peanuts are not nuts but legumes and should be avoided, but are better than your chips and dips if you have no choice.

And water. Lots of water. No softdrinks or any carbonated stuff. Occasional alcohol like beer and wine – not to excess – and no artificial juices. Natural fruit juices are great, but limit your intake to the equivalent of actually eating the fruit. Remember, these juices are actually easily digestible and concentrated forms of the fruit – you may forget that one tall glass may actually be a whole case of apples.

The thing is you never have to go hungry. Just stuff your mouth with what’s good, fill up that ol’ tummy.

Supplement, supplement, supplement

Vitamin supplements are a must. You just can’t get enough of the right stuff with regular eating. Years ago I gave up popping vitamins because I thought it wasn’t doing me any good. I was energetic, could keep late nights and still make it to early morning meetings. But when I restarted taking some basic multivitamin – one that says it’s complete with all the stuff needed by the body – it now makes all the difference. You can really feel the boost.

I also tried some other stuff like an all natural food and tonic combination, and it was great. But it cost an arm and a leg so, at the behest of my doctor, I went back to the regular multivitamins that cost P9 a day. Besides, I was just moved by the priceless look of ridicule my doctor gave me when I showed him my new vitamin regimen: “So you think money down the drain is a smart move?”

In addition to the multivitamins we’ve added three other supplements: ascorbic acid for added vitamin C (so long as your stomach can take it), fish oil and CO-Q10 (coenzyme antioxidant and good for the heart and circulation).

Only the best

I must admit, every once in a while I have the urge to backslide – to go back to my evil ways. After all, there’s always that Peking duck, rib eye steak or pork barbeque beckoning me, calling out my name… This is where Lory Tan, Chairman of World Wide Fund for the Environment Philippines, and his eating philosophy comes in: “If it isn’t the best, I won’t eat.”

Indeed, why partake of lousy or even mediocre preparations? Save your sinning for the best and only the best. And that’s why, once in a while, you’ll be reading of the best places to have the best food in this blog.

Life is too short to die yet.